“ I want…a steady hand. A kind soul.
I want to fall asleep, and wake,
knowing my heart is safe. ”
Yes,i'm still alive. Past week has been quite routined. Trips to the library,late lunches,midnight facebook-ing etc. So much for the constructive use of time during swotvec. I'm so disappointed in myself, all i've done so far is flip through a couple of pages of my textbook and taken down some more or less useful notes.sigh.
Tues: Home, Buffet at the Stanford
failure of a movie night-FD3D.
Thursday:What did i do on thursday? I think i stayed home as well and did absolutely nothing.
Friday: Library(another attempt at legal)May+Nick, Late night shopping+dinner+karaoke with May+Shaine, missed the bus which resulted in the usual earful.
Saturday: Vivienne was over for some study but we ended up talking and sleeping. Then headed to may's place to escape the sweltering heat and to have a bowl of Bulla cookies&cream along with more sleep. 3 year 12 girls, wrapped up in a warm fluffy blanket(sweating,yes) and procrastinating. hah. Grabbed some food at sugarbowl and caught up with Simon after. Tired.
Sunday: Been here the entire day. Hi again.
***I wish it was dark all the time, only with the faintest hint of light peeking out from behind the clouds. If there was a weather dial, i would pick cloudy for everyday of the week,month..maybe rest of the year. Don't you just love waking up every morning to grey skies and taking in the sweet smell of rain in the air while you bury yourself even further beneath the sheets,curled up into a ball cuddling your favourite stuffed animal,perhaps entangling your legs with that special someone.Well, that's how i like it. I'm not a huge fan of the sun to say the least. I dread stepping outside on a 30degree summer day,lugging a bag of books,waiting for the 143. The sun literally absorbs every bit of energy you have and uses it against you,forcing damp, salty moisture to permeate through your pores. Just thinking about it is enough to make your head feel heavy with exhaustion. Wouldn't it be nice(okay i couldnt find a more descriptive word,sue me)going to bed everynight,lying next to someone who you know would still be there in the morning no matter what. Head facing one another,eyes set on each other;as if the two of you were the only ones around..a soft whisper in your ear saying"I love you" or "Sweetdreams" is all it takes to flood you with the feeling of completion,of security. Not often will you come across a voice in the world that would make you feel at ease, diminish the knot of frustration and anxiety that eats you away with every breath. Someone who hears the vague,inconsistent murmurs of your heart while you slumber in a white zone of your imagination...
"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe youll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but theres also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person whos been standing beside you all along."