Saturday, March 13, 2010

Beautiful disaster

It's been over 4 months since my last post.
Guess the idea of religiously blogging didn't quite sink in. Alot has been going on over the holidays, and I dare say it was good fun. You learn something about yourself everyday, the extents to which you would go to free yourself from what you've been confined to. A sense of liberation floods & overwhelmes your once secured and watchful barrier. One that was never easily swayed by temptation, lust,envy and most importantly, never swayed by the ones refered to as "men". Ah yes how they cleverly reel you in, test the waters with reserved determination,hastily grab you without warning,expose your insecurities, make you beg and crave and weep for their indecencies...and all this only to be looked upon with incredulous eyes. Unkind & judmental. & your once fiery heart that loved all there was to this creature gets torn up to pieces. Day by day burrying itself quicker and deeper into the soils of brokenness, each layer suppressing its dreadful murmurs...and soon it'll all be over. No more exaggerated heartbeats, no more hurt, no more hope.
Nothing.
All that 's left of you are the faint residues of yesterday, everything you were before you lost yourself. The wind gradually sweeps off the last traces of colour on your cheeks, subsequently drawing out the very last ounce of passion from your lips...And you wait, and wait, longing for the day someone would breathe life into your cold & paralyzed heart. Hoping that the vicious cycle wouldn't repeat itself.
We can all hope, cant' we?
x

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