Saturday, April 17, 2010

Oh it's what you do to me

"Maybe it's time to move on,
from everything you've held dear;
everything you weren't willing to let go."
So okay, i've said a few things I regret. I know that and if i could take it all back, I would, but I can't. It's been a rough couple of days...haha maybe you guys don't see how it has been,but i assure you I'm not like that for no reason. I don't think I ever was. It's sad, for me as well, seeing myself result to this, but I'm just happy that it's over. That relationship that has been constantly choking me, forcing me to supress my anger&sadness over and over..and I admit, it broke me. Nevertheless, no excuses. I'm sorry if what happened that night affected people, be it what I said...what I did...sigh. But I can't cry over spilled milk, can I? Hah, just gotta do what I can to salvage the situation. Perhaps distract myself with something else, something worthwhile..something for me. For once.
I'll just let people talk, let people jump to whatever conclusions they want to jump to. I think it's best I let them do that. I'm quite tired of explaining and yeah, i think you should know that I'm not that person. Or maybe you don't know that. Well, im telling you again then, I'm not. 2 days of alco-blabbering doesn't "reveal" anyones character. If you want to think that it does, then go ahead. I'm not gonna defend myself, just cause I don't need to. Mature or immature, it's subjective. You can base it on whatever you like i suppose, but it's not fair to question all you know just because of 2 lousy nights. 2 nights where I was pretty vulnerable, i didn't know what to do anymore. I made a huge mistake, and yeah I guess there are reasonably huge consequences that follow. I remember you telling me that I should be abit headstrong. Well, sorry to disappoint.
Sorry might not be able to fix the cracks but, it's still an apology. And it's still very much from my heart.
x

Friday, April 16, 2010

Face value

I don't know what else to say. Theres nothing more you can do to save this. I can't help you, be it with family your life....i've had quite enough.
I have to keep telling myself that I'm okay, that I can take this, cause i know I can. Being alone is good; I've gotten quite used to that now....Anyway, happy birthday adrian! he's probably lying on his bed, completely wasted hahaha. I feel like crap so shall be heading off to bed.
Goodnight people
xoxo